I'm a Selfish Bitch

There must be something in pattern of the people I pick as friends. A majority of them surprise me in their response to my moods. I don’t know if I’m really selfish, which I don’t feel I am, or I am really needy, which, I have to admit wouldn’t surprise me with all that’s going on in my life right now. But, it seems that I am not allowed to have a bad day. If I do, people seem put out by it, like it inconveniences them. Inside I want to scream, “IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!” I have needs. I have bad days. I’m sorry I can’t attend to your wants right now, but I have to take care of my self for a minute. I’m sorry if I’m slow to understand what you’re saying, I realize I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack, but I am trying to process a lot of information. I admit to not being at my best at the moment, but can you cut me a break, I’m doing the best I can. But, I’ll say nothing. Which is wrong I know. Maybe I’ll say something later when I’m not so upset and hurt, then again maybe not.


UPDATE:

Not only am I a selfish bitch, but I am also a liar. Am I lying about being a selfish bitch. I don't think so, but maybe I'm pathological. And people wonder why drug companies make antidepressants.

That will teach me to get my hopes up and allow myself to feel a little happiness. It's just not allowed apparently.

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