What's your sign...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

TOLD YOU SO! ( a continuation of It's my pity party and I'll whine if I want to)

Today's phone conversation with my dr's office:

Me: Hi.  I would like to schedule surgery.

Nurse: OK.  Let me pull your chart.  When would you like to do it?

Me:  As soon as possible.  But preferably not on my birthday. (I joke, laughing)

Nurse:  OK.  Let's see...oh...um.  Oh.

Me: What.

Nurse:  The date we have available is February 9th.  Your birthday.

Me: (I laugh becuase what else can you do) Figures.

I will go in and discuss it with them on Friday...but if it does go down like that, consider yourself warned!


Monday, January 25, 2010

It's my pity party, I'll whine if I want to!

I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  It’s the one where Meredith has appendicitis.  She is high as a freaking kite on morphine, headed into surgery where they were gonna cut her open and remove a piece of her insides.  I mean think about it, really, take a moment.  Remove. Body. Parts.  It’s serious business, the risk for infection, something going wrong, bad surgeons, reaction to drugs.  Surgery is no joke.
And all I could thing was, “Man!  She is soooooooo lucky!  She’s on morphine and feels NOTHING!  Surgery is so worth it.  I wish I were her.”

Yep.  It's that time again.  Coming up on that evil day.  Always causes anxiety, fear and aprehenson.  Why?  I think the day is cursed.  I'm not even sure what I did to incur this kind of karma.  If you know, maybe you could clue me in so I can start to make amends.

I know what you're thinking.  "Your getting all worked up for nothing.  It's still a bit away."  And yet, it has already started.  There are already feelings of neglect and disintrest.  So, on one hand the thoughts run to, why bother?  If it's that much trouble don't worry about it.  Which has very damaging consequences.  On the other hand, let it roll and harbor feelings of resentment which has it's own damaging outcome.  I don't know.  I suppose I should speak up, but it would be a coin toss as to how that would go.  I'd have to wait, too.  Why?  Because I can't think of a nice way to say what's on my mind.  It all sounds venomous.  Not a good way to open a dialog.

I never thought I would be this age and be in the situation I am now.  (Those of you who know, know.  Sorry for the cryptic, this issue is not for popular consumption)  It hurts.  It's devastating and I feel broken.  You'd think that a mile stone birthday would be something to celebrate.  Something to care enough about to put effort into.  I guess not.   Thanks. 

I guess I'll go find my therapists phone number, I'm thinking I'm gonna need a few hundred sessions to work this out.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Start fresh. Remember, you haven't messed
anything up in 2010.
(Unless you work really fast.)

You haven't made mistakes, you have no regrets.
It's a clean slate to do with what you please.

Saturday, January 2, 2010


Well, Happy New Year everyone!  I hope everyone had a great holiday season.  Ours was nice.  Turkey day spent up in Washington with the cousins.  They taught me how to shoot guns.  How much fun was that?  More fun than decent people oughta have!

Christmas was spent here at our new house.  Something like 12 people showed for dinner.  I was really  touched.  I figured on a few would come.  Made me feel good.

New Year's was spend home.  Quiet.  Made split pea and ham soup for dinner watched a movie.  Barely made it up to midnight.  So lame.  LOL.  New Year's Day, I mostly slept.  I didn't sleep very well when I finally did go to bed. I made black-eyed peas for dinner. I'd never had them before let alone made them.  They were very tasty! 

All the kitties are good.  Eight continues to escape, but she comes back so I'm less stressed over it. 

I'm gonna get a camera for Christmas.  Yes I know it has already passed but, The Man and I always get our gifts later.  Less stress that way.  I may go tomorrow.  The man is getting a surround sound system with a Blue-Ray player. 

Oh, turns out the two trees that are producing in the back yard are Lemon and Tangerine.  Who knew?  Clearly not me.  I bought a juicer so I could juice the lemons and freeze them.  I don't know WHAT to do about the Tangerines.  Want some?

Still haven't found a job, hopefully something cool will come soon.

I've managed to go a whole nine months with out surgery!  Yay me!!


Did anyone make any goals for the year?  Resolutions?  Wishes?  I'd like to hear them!!!

That's all I got for now.