Remember this one?

CALL ME BUTTER, I'M ON A ROLL!!!

Now, I have a few words to say about the holidays... They make me grumpy!! I know there is supposed to be all this good will and love and blah blah blah but I think a lot of it is bullshit. I think most of it is about jocking for position. People plan for holidays who will be where and when and all. I think it is a power play. I don't think they really CARE where the holiday is spent, it is just about telling people what to do where to go and when. If people actually cared about their loved ones, they would say things like, "How is you life right now? Would it be easier if we came to you or you came to us? Or do you have any better ideas?" But no they just call you and say meet at so and so's house and bring the side dishes! (edit: or in my case the main dish and all the side dishes!) I know the ones who are sincere and I know who is just trying to be the "Alpha". Well fuck them all! This year I AM THE GOD DAMN ALPHA! WE WILL DO WHAT THE HELL I. SAY. DO! Fucking Deal With It!

Try it! Just try it, fucker! I dare you!

Ah, the memories...nothing has changed.

Fools are still trying to control shit. Too fucking bad!!

I, NICBEAST, being of (reasonably) sound mind,

AM TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK!!

That's right! Ya herrd me! I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK!!

Will it be a refugee Christmas? Maybe. We'll see who needs somewhere to go. Will I be cookin' like a mad woman? Damn right I will!! In MY house!! What's on the menu? Well, don't know fo' sho'. What I DO know is there is a 7.25# rib roast waiting to meet its fate along with a 8.6# ham. The rest, I'll figure later! NO ONE will be hungry! I guaran-damn-tee that!!

Merry Fucking Christmas, Bioch!!