What's your sign...

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Her name is Rio, but you can call me Nicbeast

So I figured it Krissie could do it...so could I. Although Krissie seems to be wavering...(evil glare at Kris!)

What am I blathering on about? Getting a Brazilian. I have been thinking about it for months. But I am such a chicken shit I haven't done anything about it. So, the umpteenth time, while I was getting my brows waxed, I had the conversation again.

"So I know I ask you this every time I come in here, but I am gonna ask you again." I say.
"What about my hair? she jokes.
"NO! I don't worry about your hair! About the Brazilian."
"What do you want to know?" She rips off some wax. Big ouch!
"I'm thinking again about doing it."
"Suck it up, Pup. Do it." She said plucking with tweezers. Little ouch.
"Do it." she said simply. Pluck.
"But the pain."
"I have a new cream. We will get it for you when you go. We will also book the apointment when we schedule your brows, too."
"Maybe I should wait to schedule the appointment."
More ripping of wax. "No. We'll do it now, and I will get you the 'No-Scream Cream'." (no kidding that is what it is called! hahahahhhhahahahahaha)
"Well how much is it?" figuring if it was too much I had my out.
"$45.00." she says searching for strays.
"Damn, I can't even say it's too expensive." I sigh heavily.

She finishes my brows and we go out to the front counter. The woman who owns the salon comes out from a back room somewhere, "Is that Nicbeast?" (no she actually said my real name)
"Yes it is."
She looked at me long and hard, then looked to my girl. My girls says, "Guess what Nicbeast is gonna get?"
"A Brazilian?" it wasn't really a question.
"How did you know?" I ask, "Was it the look of complete fear and horror on my face?"
"Yes. Exactly."
I look to the other two girls behind the counter about to say, "Never mind. I'm not ready!" but they have seen this look before and immediately begin reassuring me it will be ok.

So the appointment is booked. Please note the countdown clock. If you are not sure what a Brazilian is, click here for explanation. As there are no pictures, I will post one. Please scroll down.

What, you thought I would put an ACTUAL picture? Geeze! You don't know me at all! While this picture is probably more accurately a Hollywood Wax, where they take off, all the hair, I will be leaving the "Landing Strip" (God that cracks me up every time!)

All I know is SOMEONE had better appreciate what I will go through for this...

Wentworth, how about you, baby? Would you like to appreciate me? Just kidding...not really.

You knew I couldn't resist the pun in this.


Anonymous said...

Just reading this makes me cringe. Never! I say, never!


nicbeast said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And no one is asking you to!

Krissie said...

I might try it myself. As in doing it myself.

nicbeast said...

Kris, you are WAY braver than I. There is no way I would do it on my own.

DJ Kirkby said...

Argh, nooooo, I can't even manage to get my brows waxed. I am a big fan of my razor, extra effort but hey it's painless effort! Let me know how long it took you to stop screaming... and then we'll head out on a hunt for our muses... the little tramps! Maybe they've gone for Hollywoods?

nicbeast said...

Nice to meet you DJ. Funny you should say they went to Hollywood. I was planning an escape there for a few days. If I can manage to pull it together and go, I will keep an eye out for them. Maybe it is a Muse Convention. I wonder what that is called...

DJ Kirkby said...

While you are there, stay on the lookout for any conferences called Pontificate!

Mama Bear said...

I love how we can openly discourse on your pubic hair maintenance...WOMAN ROCK!!!

AJ said...

Let us know how it goes, Nic. I wanna try it, but I'm scared shitless....