Hello. I know I haven't had much to say in a while. Well that isn't even true. I have, but I just...haven't. Lazy maybe. Well that's not true either. I know why, I just won't say it here. So, what's been going on...
I've had a bad day that has lasted weeks. Some good has come out of it though. I have learned a couple of lessons that I will share with you.
This is temporary. Whatever you are in the middle of, is temporary. Although you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, rest assured there is one. The feelings you are having about the situation, are normal. For those of us with control issues, (don't look at me like that, you know you have them too), control is an illusion. Granted it is my illusion that I created and live in...happily, but when it comes down to it, I really have very little control, and that is ok too. I can't make people do what I want. I can't make people not be sick and dying, I can only do what I can to do what is right for me and make sure I can live with my self so I can sleep at night.
Another lesson I learned while sitting on Larchmont where I suppose Went heard I was, and fled into hiding, was, an understanding of people who just pick up and leave their lives. They get up one day, call "uncle" and bolt. This is not a split decision as far as I can understand. This is a lot of time, pressure and heartache that one day is too much for them. I sat on the bench watching people walk about, and looked at the businesses across the street
and thought, Hmmmm, that pizza place down the way is looking for help. I'm pretty sure I am bright enough to ask people if they would like a salad and a drink. No, don't panic. I didn't just walk away from my life. I came home. But I did gain that understanding of why people feel the need to flee.
Now a break from the lesson and a few words of thanks!
To the Church Girls who made my stay so wonderful, Thank you. That trip could have sent me spiraling into God knows what, and you were the light in that tunnel for me, those few days. But, girls, all that food! DAMN! *giggle*
And to my writer friend, sorry we couldn't get that candy bar together. Maybe next time. *crossing fingers* You are thought of fondly and cared for. Thanks for the ear and smiles.
My real life friends and family, my rock and pillar, I know I've been elusive, but thank you for giving me understanding and space. It is appreciated and will not be forgotten.
Lastly, to my online friends from the writing sites, and WFW's blog, thank you for all your kind words, encouragement, emails and calls. I am so blessed to have found such a wonderful bunch of people as you. I know I have been distant, but I will be back, witty, dirty, and sarcastic as ever. Just you watch. You will begin to long for those days of peace. ;-)
Back to the regularly scheduled lessons:
I think the last lesson I have learned, I am not even sure I can explain. Years ago, I watched some made for TV movie. The woman had a profound loss, and she told her best friend what she really wanted was to be made love to. I didn't get it. How could you want that after the loss you just experienced? I get it now. Yeah. I do. I can't explain it, but I do.
In other news...
Some good things happened in between. We went to the U.S.A. vs. China Soccer game. We won. It was a good time.
Here I am, having a good time....
I also went to a birthday party where I made mac and cheese for 25. It was yummy and people liked it. I was relieved. Well, here is a picture of one of the 3 pans of pasta...
And here I am with the birthday girl...love the shoes, love the hat...
Another thing...The Salmon Reunion show is coming up.... you should go...I am. Which reminds me, I need to get into mosh pit shape! Woo hoo!
Here is the myspace page:
It will tell you how to get tickets. There is a video below. I don't know who shot it, but...cool.
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